#Girltalk: Should you change for him?

Posted by Kristie Glenn on

As little girls we fantasize about meeting our Prince Charming and him popping the question with the perfect 10 carat ring.  We fantasize about the perfect wedding in the most beautiful dress the world has seen.  Then, we have the cutest girl and boy ever, all while living in a huge house that is surrounded by a white pickett fence (of course) while little Fido chasing the kids around the backyard.  Doesn't that sound picture perfect?!  Ok so maybe your dream was 1 kid and a high-rise apartment but I would bet the bank that Prince Charming was definitely something you fantasized about.  What girl doesn't?  

Fast forward to being a grown woman.  Reality has probably set in a bit so ideas of your Prince Charming may have changed but the actual idea of him will be in your thoughts until he comes into your life.  That's just how it is.  But what happens when you meet Mr. Perfect and you there are some things that he wants to tweak about you?  He may not come right out and say, "I hate the way you dress" or "I don't like your friends" but if you knew that he wanted you to change something about yourself, would you?    

I have been in a long term relationship for a while and since he put a ring on it (whoop whoop) I thought about if I had changed for him?  I realized that I HAVE made some changes since we got together.  For instance, in the beginning, he couldn't stand any of my girlfriends.  I mean any of them!  He would drop little hints about how they were unproductive, trashy, you name it.  Now that I look back, with the exception of 1 or 2, I am no longer friends with any of them.  To this day, he might think those friendships ended because "he was right".  But that's not it.  I woke up one day and realized clubbing and getting drunk was the extent of my friendships.  Since I knew that I wanted more than short dresses and hangovers in my life, I decided to cut them off and keep it moving.  So yes I did get rid of those friends but it wasn't for him (sorry babe).  Other than that...I'm still the always stylish, opinionated, slightly bossy, fearless, chatter box that I've always been.  Now, I party with my Prince Charming and different friends.  But does this mean I changed for him?!  Nope...my priorities changed.  There's a difference, right?  

To get a different perspective I asked a friend would she change for her man.  She went on this long tangent about how she will never change a thing for Mr. Right.  She will always be the same person.  In fact, she said she would, "leave that bum", if she was ever told that her friends sucked.  As I'm listening to her rant, I'm thinking about her stats...she's been single for a long while, angry/sad/depressed more often than I can count, and she is always pondering what she is gonna do with her life?!  Maybe I'm asking the wrong person?! 

I've come to the conclusion that your true Prince Charming isn't going to want you to change a thing!  Let me get your opinion...have you changed something about yourself since being in a relationship?  If so, is it because he wanted you to?  Would you change something for your Prince Charming?